He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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