i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
