I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
