Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
