brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
