you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
