WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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