No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
