Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
