So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
