And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
