I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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