I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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