i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
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so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
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I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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