i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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