Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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