he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
