I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
