At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
