franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Your penis caused this!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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