It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
