Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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