I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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