the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
