Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He had one of those small greek statue penises
zippers are such a cool invention
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
