somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
