I heard we made out
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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