Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
