He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just gift wrapped bread.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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