found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
