Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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