Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My Higher Power is John Stamos
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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