umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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