How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize