Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
