i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
