Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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