My hand turned me down
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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