I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize