It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
