I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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