Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
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I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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