I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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