he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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