I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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