everyone is single if you try hard enough
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Randomize
