he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
