she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
