There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
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True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
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Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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