apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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