is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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