do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
