In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
