I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
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We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
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I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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