why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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