We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
