i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
