So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i wish my penis had a tongue
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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