Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
