I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
