YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
