Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Randomize
