You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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