): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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