I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
