I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I understand Curling. That high.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
