I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sorry about my life...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize