Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
